I LOVE Snow Days!

It took probably ten times longer to get the boys dressed and ready to go outside as it did playing in the snow! They wanted to make snow balls and a snowman, but we didn't have good water proof gloves for them to wear. So, I was the one making the snow balls, and that didn't last long! Our little tree is holding strong! It was worth it for the hot chocolate and marshmellows!

I am so excited to have these snow days with the kids. Throughout the day Tuesday Austin mentioned Matthew several times. I told him as soon as we felt the roads were safe we'd go get him. On Wednesday afternoon Jason picked him up. And now that school is called off again tomorrow, we get him all the way through until Sunday! It has been pretty wild around here today, but it is really fun seeing the kids start to bond together. Me? I'm worn out! I have done nothing but cook, clean, play, clean, cook, clean, play, clean... We made clean-up charts in an effort to excite the boys about collecting stickers on their chart for cleaning up. It works off and on. Of course when we get it clean Miss Maggie comes behind to pull off, knock off, dump out everything again. Also, I have discovered that boys will make ANYTHING into a race or competition! I'm saying, "that doesn't matter, who cares, it isn't a race, you're both big boys..." over and over! I have a feeling this is just the beginning!

Crazy Cousins!

Amy (Jason’s sister) came over with her two kids last night, Caleb and Anna. After being in the house all week, the kids sure enjoyed playing. When I called Amy the kids heard her talking about coming over. Anna yelled, “My Maggie!” and Caleb said, “I’ve been wanting to talk with Matthew.” I guess it is strange for them to suddenly have a new cousin. Although it sure didn’t take them long to have fun together.

Matthew and Anna enjoyed "hanging out" with each other.

Matthew and Maggie already love being together. The night was a lot of fun. We ended with a little bit of quiet time watching Cars. Then Amy, Caleb, and Anna went home and the boys began the nightly routine. Matthew is adjusting very well at night... and during the day too!

Friday Night Visit with Matthew's Family

Full of Fun!

This weekend has been full of fun so far! Austin, Maggie, and I picked Matthew up yesterday around 6:45 and headed over to Matthew's Kimmie's house. Matthew's daddy (Daniel) was there. Along with Daniel's mom (Kim), stepdad (Ralph), grandmother (Elaine), aunt (Laurie), and cousins (Brittany and James). Daniel was watching for us and came to meet us at the car to help me unload the kids. Then came Brittany and James. They were so happy to see Matthew. Daniel's family hadn't seen him since late November. They loved on him, played, ate, and took tons of pictures. Kim is going to send me a few, so I'll post them later. It really was a good evening. The boys played so well, Maggie ate everything there, and Daniel gave Matthew lots of kisses. Daniel received a package in the mail on Friday from a Life Group at Southland. It was full of cards with very personal and uplifting messages, as well as gift cards to Kroger, Fazolis, Panera, and Gas stations. What a blessing. This morning we went to the mall for breakfast and playtime. Afterwards we went to see Matthew's grandfather and great grandparents (my ma-maw, pa-paw, and Uncle Kent). I know they were all very excited to see him too. They spent most of the time playing with Pa-Paw's balloon from the hospital. Who knew they could have so much fun with a balloon! We went to Bounce-U for Ellie's 4th birthday party. The boys had a BLAST! Tracey took some pictures and sent them to me. Thanks! I think they enjoyed the slide the best. Although they really liked the bouncer with the basketball goal too. We have had a great time with Matthew this weekend. He is getting more comfortable with us. He is such a sweet, fun boy. Austin and he have played PERFECTLY today. Although he has had several good cries this weekend. We have discovered that he doesn't like to be told no or be put in timeout. We have discovered that we don't like to be told no either. He is testing and we are trying to be consistent. These moments have been few, mostly when he is tired. We are glad to have him here with us. It is a joy to have him in our family. We are already dreading taking him back Sunday afternoon.

My Family

I love my family. It seems most days I find myself waiting for something bad to happen because my family gives me so much joy. I can’t understand how I could have been so lucky to have a wife that is everything to me and two children that I couldn’t love more if I tried. I sometimes find myself on my knees at the end of the night begging God for another day with them. I think the best decision I ever made was to search for a job that gets me home as early as possible every day. I resisted the idea of fostering a child at first because I held on to my family too tightly. It seems like the last 15 sermons Jon has preached seem to be telling me that I need to give up my family to God. It’s hard to imagine him loving them more than me but I know that’s true. In the last couple of weeks since God has broken through to me I have become very excited about Matthew. I try to be the cool one with Becky but I am finding that harder to do. I am placing Matthew in Gods hands. If we get him only for a short time or forever I know that he will be a most precious gift. He will bring a new level of joy to my life that I didn’t think was possible. The last couple of months have been a wild emotional ride for Becky and her family. I have been so amazed with how strong she has been through the process. I think we will be able to handle the curveballs. During this period I have questioned God and found him to be merciful and true. I am awed by His willingness to give up his family for me. As a parent I can’t imagine a more heartfelt way for God to show his love than through his willingness to give up his son. That is Divine. That is love.
-Jason

Giving it to Him

Last night I posted about the frustration I’m feeling with taking him back and forth for three to four months. THIS MORNING Amy, the social worker, called to tell me that she met with her supervisors and they feel, since everything is going well, that this transition is too long and that it would be better to transition him full time to us! I think this may take up to a couple of weeks, but what an answer to prayer!
As excited as I was, I quickly realized that until we are fully certified daycare isn’t covered. We will be given a small amount to cover expenses, but this will not cover his daycare. We have called about having him tested for Early Start. If he qualifies for that, he’ll be going to Early Start a few hours everyday. So, when I picked Austin up from daycare today, I talked with the assistant director about his enrollment date and tuition. Because he will still be attending everyday there is usually no difference in tuition, but she is going to ask the director if we can pay part-time tuition for a few months. Please pray! This would really help.
Also, now we will have him during our Spain trip. As some of you know, we have gone back and forth on Spain. From the beginning we decided to cancel Spain. We DID NOT want to have him during Spain; therefore, we were going to cancel. We had gotten very excited about taking a beach trip with all three kids. But, after finding out the dates for the foster care classes, we realized we wouldn’t have him yet. We asked about this and were told not to cancel the trip because our paper work wouldn’t be finished anyway. So, today after we got the call, I called to cancel the trip. Unfortunately, today is day 64, so we will be losing a significant amount more (almost double) than we would have lost yesterday (day 65). So, we didn’t cancel. But now we don’t know what we will do with Matthew. We can’t choose who to leave him with as he will still be in state custody and only certified foster care providers are able to keep him. Like I titled the post, we are giving it to Him.

It's hard to say goodbye... to the choo-choo!

Jason and Matthew just left to go back to Tina’s. Matthew is very tired and upset. He DID NOT want to leave. I knew this time would come as he gets closer to us. Of course I always thought it would be because of us… its not! He wanted to stay and play with the choo-choo train. He loves that train table. The boys usually play just fine at the table although they usually get upset at first determining how many trains they each get to link together. Once we help them through that they’re great.
Tonight we decided to cook and stay in. We wanted the boys to get some playing time. We had an easy dinner- ham and cheese omelets, fruit, and biscuits. The boys ate well and quickly got back to playing.
After working all day, going to renew my license, going to the grocery, running to get Matthew, and cooking, I can quickly tell this back and forth thing is going to get tough. I am ready to show him stability, but that won’t come for another three months. I feel frustrated already. We are getting to know him so well, but are always having to take him back. I think the three day weekends will really help. I wish Tina didn’t live so far away!
My heart just breaks for him. I really noticed tonight how he desperately misses his sissy, Katie. We passed an ambulance on the way over today. Matthew started talking about Katie being sick. He said she is sleeping. He showed me how. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. I told him that I know he misses her, and that it’s okay to think about her and miss her. I told him that I’d show him some pictures of her when we got home. I didn't say anything else. When I showed him the pictures he said, “I love sissy. I love her like this” and he hugged his arms real tight. Here is one of the pictures I showed him.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Weekend Highlights

Watching Curious George
Break Dancing
Finger Painting

☺ Matthew’s first words when I picked him up were “We’re going to church!”
☺ After waking up from yesterday’s nap, I held Matthew in my arms with his head on my chest for several minutes. I rocked him and kissed his face. It was so special.
☺ Austin threw his fruit snack wrapper on the floor, but before I could even say a word Matthew picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I thanked him and gave him a high five. Austin got a sticker and told Matthew that he earned a sticker.
☺ All three kids stayed busy playing cars while I cooked dinner and Jason cleaned up!
☺ Naptime Saturday AND Sunday!
☺ Matthew and I slept in until 8:20 on Sunday! Thanks Daddy!
☺ We had a dance party in the kitchen. The boys break danced on the floor.
☺ Matthew was so excited about church this morning. He took off running through the gate, and Austin turned around and cried.

☺ We started our foster care classes on Saturday. I can already tell they are going to be very valuable throughout this process.

☺ Aunt Martha brought over Matthew's new race car bed!! Thanks Martha!

Shhh.... everyone's sleeping!

Well, they're all asleep! Matthew, Austin, Maggie, and Daddy! The hardest ones.... Austin and Maggie. All three kids picked out one book to read. Jason read the boys their books and I read Maggie her book. We tried Matthew and Austin in the same bed for about ten minutes. This may work in the future, but the first nap together was too much fun to sleep! Every time I looked in they were on different sides and laughing. So, Daddy moved Austin to our bed, took Maggie downstairs, and I stayed with Matthew until he fell asleep. Maggie was not so easy. I just don't think she was tired. I took over Maggie duty downstairs while Jason went back upstairs to fall asleep with Austin. She played and I worked on Matthew's lifebook. So fun! I'll talk about that later. Anyway, after about an hour I took Maggie and put her to bed. She cried a little bit, and I was afraid she'd wake up Matthew, but I'm in luck! Every one's asleep! Our first nap is a success! When do I get my nap?

Dinner with Matthew

Building a checker tower

Reading a book in Spanish and English


It’s COLD!! Tina had Matthew all bundled up again in his hat and coat. He was ready to go. He smiled real big when I walked in the door. It sure made me feel like he was really looking forward to our visit. I hope so. We were. It didn’t take him long at all this time to warm up. From the moment we put him in the car Austin and Matthew laughed, talked, and sang. They held hands most of the way. They were both so excited to be together. They are able to carry on a conversation between each other very well; however, Austin is trying to be a little bossy. Several times tonight I feel like I saw a little jealousy in Austin. At one point mom was paying a lot of attention to Matthew and she commented on his hat. I could tell that Austin had been watching her love on Matthew. He said (with his finger in the air), “Nana, you do not say that to Matthew. You do not say that you like his hat. I do not like Matthew’s hat.” I’m sure this is normal; I just need to learn how to handle it. I was upset that Austin felt that way, but I also didn’t want Matthew to get his feelings hurt.
The original plan was to go to Chick-Fil-A so the boys could eat and play, but we ended up celebrating my Granny’s birthday at Cracker Barrel with my dad’s side of the family. Others at the table may feel differently, but I don’t think it could have gone better. They boy’s ate well, played the golf tee game at the table, played checkers by the fire, talked with family, and read a book. Towards the end they got a little active, but that is to be expected. Austin reached for the tee game and as he pulled it over to him he looked around and immediately found another one for Matthew, and said “One for me, and one for Matthew.”
On the way home we talked a lot about Saturday. The boys are very excited about staying the night. We are ready for that too. We are enjoying getting to know him. Matthew wants to go to church so he can dance. He remembers doing that last time we took him to church.
After dropping Matthew off, Austin started asking about heaven and Jesus. He asked where heaven is in the sky, if there in only one God, and how Jesus is in heaven and down here too. Lastly, he asked why Katie is in heaven with Jesus. We told him because he wanted her home with him. We assured him that she is playing and having a big time with Jesus.

Dinner Wednesday!!

Well, we just can't stand not being with him. We just called Tina (foster mom) and made dinner plans for Wednesday. We'll pick him up at 6:30, take him to eat and play, and then take him back. I'll post again Wednesday night.

Our First Visit (Saturday, Jan. 10)

The boys in their fort

Jason setting up the train table

Matthew LOVES playing with the trains

The boys playing tackle football

At 9:00 on the dot we pulled into Tina’s driveway. I think this is the first time we’ve ever been on time! We didn’t want to miss one minute with Matthew. Tina was at work, so her sister was watching Matthew. She had him all bundled up in a nice suede Tommy Hilfiger coat and a sock hat. At first Matthew was very quiet. I asked if he was ready to come play with us and Austin, and he nodded his head yes. I told him we were very excited to be with him, and that we had been waiting to get to see him. I gave him a big hug.
We had all three car seats buckled in the Envoy’s backseat. It was a tight squeeze, but, thankfully, they all fit. Austin was so excited to be with Matthew. Matthew was very quiet at first. Austin wouldn’t stop talking to him. Finally Austin said, “Momma, he’s not talking to me. Matthew, why aren’t you talking to me?” I told Austin that he needed to give Matthew some time to warm up to us again.
Our first stop was Krispy Kreme. There is a toy corner for the kids, so it was perfect. The boys played so nicely in the corner while we ordered breakfast. We told them it was time to eat, and they stopped playing at once and came to the table. Matthew immediately started to drink his chocolate milk, but didn’t touch his doughnut. He was being so good, but not eating a bite. Jason asked if I thought sweet things hurt his teeth. There are so many things we will learn with time about Matthew. I asked if he had eaten breakfast and he said yes, cereal. So, I guess that's why he didn't eat the doughnut. But, do sweet things hurt his teeth? I don't want to give him anything that will cause a tooth ache. He sat there so well while Austin ate. After he finished his doughnut, we told them they could go play again. Our first adventure out with three children could not have been better. The older couple beside us enjoyed watching the kids. As they left the woman said to me, “You are so blessed. You have your girl and he has his boys.” I laughed and said, “Yes we are.” I guess we always assumed since Matthew and Austin are so close in age and don’t look alike, people wouldn’t think they’re brothers. I’m sure people will question our family and we’ll hear lots of odd comments over time. I just pray he feels equal to the other children in our family. When he is with us, we will care for him, love him, and discipline him as we do our own.
As we put out coats back on we were talking about going home. Matthew kept saying, “I want to go to your house Austin. I want to play choo choo.” My most vivid memory of Matthew and Katie is playing around the train table and them singing, “choo choo train, choo choo train.” We assured him that was exactly what we were on our way to do. As we got to the house, he was the first one out of the car. He ran right to the door, went inside, looked for the train, and ran up the steps to look in Austin’s room. I was so happy he felt that comfortable. Jason, Austin, and Matthew set the track up on the train table. Matthew and Austin played with the trains for hours. Matthew likes to link as many trains together as he can get to go. The boys also enjoyed using the tools in the toolbox and flying the airplanes.
The big boy and two little ones enjoyed playing tackle football the most. One of them would get the ball and take off running. Jason would go after them, catch them, and tackle. They loved piling on top of him.
We debated on going to Caroline’s party with Matthew. Jason was afraid there would be too many new people. In the end, we decided to go. After all, it’s a birthday party! When we arrived, the kids were doing a craft. Austin and Matthew didn’t want to join the party. They decided they’d rather play. After making them go in, they made two cute plaques with glitter, stars, and jewels. Cara had several games planned for the kids. Austin held Matthew’s hand most of the party. As the boys played musical chairs, they held hands and walked round and round. When the music ended, they wouldn’t sit down unless there were two chairs side by side. Matthew wanted to go to the playroom to play. He didn’t want to watch Caroline open presents. I made the mistake of telling the boys that Matthew’s birthday was coming up soon, so he wanted to open Caroline’s presents. I told him we’ll have a big party just for Matthew.
We wanted a very low key day, but ended up packing it full. It was wonderful to be with him though. We look forward to getting to know him better and better with each visit. Like I promised Austin right after we picked Matthew up, it didn’t take him long to open up. Matthew and Austin sang, yelled, and talked at the top of their lungs the entire way back. Austin kept asking him if he wanted to sleep at his house, and Matthew kept saying yes. I assured them he’d get to sleep over soon. The hardest part of this transitional period is going to be taking him back. I can’t wait to have him again. I’m sure the road ahead will be difficult at times, but it sure was great today. We feel so blessed to have this opportunity.